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Diary of a Trauma Nurse
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About Me

My name is Cory. I am a mom, a wife, a NaNa, and a critical care nurse that lives in Nashville, TN. I have found my calling in ER/Trauma/ICU. Each day I find myself experiencing life changing events and hope that by reading my posts, you will experience and feel some of what I do. If you read nothing else, please take time to read "The Hardest Question Ever Asked". It's my very first posting. And if for some reason you think you see your story don't. It's not about you or anyone you know. =)


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Sunday, August 31, 2008


Ok, I know that sounds kind of cruel but let me tell you, I have seen all the WRONG ways to attempt to kill yourself and I’m sure if I wrote that book it would be a best seller!!!!

People, do NOT shoot yourself in the gut, you will have a long, miserable hospitalization, many painful and pricey surgeries followed by the liklihood of having a lifetime of pooping in a bag. This is called a colostomy. Doesn't sound fun, does it?

One of my favorites is the guy who shot himself in the leg to see how bad it would hurt first. OMG! He actually told us that. Don’t think we didn’t get a chuckle or two over that in the break room!!!

Then there was the guy who had lain on the train tracks and had survived but had a leg amputated by the train. Several years later we see him in the unit again. He jumped off of an overpass into traffic on a busy interstate, was run OVER by a car and still survived. My words of wisdom to this fellow. “God don’t wantcha yet. Give it up man!”

Another was a guy who used an AK-47 and basically just blew his face off. It was horrific but he survived. He actually does talks in schools about not using drugs. Although he's pretty scary looking, he makes quite an impact.

And although you see people holding the gun up to their temple in movies, this is one of the saddest things you can do to your family members. What is going to happen is you are going to cause irreversible brain damage at the same time making yourself look like a cartoon character with bulging eyes. This was the saddest yet funniest looking trauma I ever saw.

We had a very young man drink antifreeze and in the end it did end his life but not after many days of painful suffering for himself and his family. They finally withdrew life support when all of his organs finally shut down.

Another favorite of mine was the dude who ate snake poison and convinced the assessing case manager that it was accidental ingestion!!!!! WHAT????? PEOPLE! Have you ever SMELLED snake poison???!!! OMG! You can barely BREATHE when you get close to it!

And then there is the ever popular Tylenol Overdose which many people think is a “safe way” to scream for help when in actuality it’s one of the most horrible and painful deaths you can imagine. But if you are lucky enough to get to a hospital, you get to drink this nasty smelling stuff called mucomyst and be put on a drip that is basically an antedote. I won’t go into the details that cause death, but if you don’t believe me, google it! (Tylenol Overdose)

So, if you are here actually looking for the quick and easy methods to kill yourself, sorry. Not giving it up that easily. Just remember this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and tomorrow will always look brighter than today. And I can say that because I’ve been there!

CoryTraumaRN posted today at 5:00 AM

What about a person that is disabled both mentally due to severe depression that being on 3 different antidepressants at a time can't help, and physically due to a neck injury and joint problems.

Can't work and Soc. Sec. just denied me for the second time. I have no money coming in, I'm living with me ex-husband who I think is going to leave me soon, and I have no where to go if he does.

And before you ask, no, there is no one else I can turn to. My fault, I admit it.

I really don't feel like I deserve to live anymore to be honest with you. I'm just a burden to everyone that knows me and to society.

Would you please help me!
Dear Anonymous:

All I can say to you is that I have seen many people in your situation and worse. Yes, worse. And there is ALWAYS a place to turn. For one, God will never turn away from you if you ask Him for help. Have you asked? If the Antidepressants aren't helping, then 1) You truly don't need them or they are the wrong medications. Keep asking your doctor for help until you get them right or get another doctor that can find the right ones to help you. 2) Also: Pain causes depression. If you need a pain clinic, for your injuries, then seek help. 2) SSI won't deny you if you have a valid reason for not working. Fight it if you deserve it. If you don't, reevaluate why you really aren't working. There are many jobs that can be done with the injuries you describe. Maybe working would help you feel like LESS of a burden and help you feel LESS depressed.

There are many resources available for income out there. You have to make an effort to find them.
Again, there is ALWAYS someone you can turn to. I've seen many people who have burned ALL of their bridges with family, friends, coworkers, etc. STILL be able to go back. Even after a life filled with drugs, prostitution, lying, backstabbing. There is no reason that you can't make amends and change your life.
If you feel like there is no reason to live, call any church and talk to someone. Call a hotline:
1-800-suicide (1-800-784-2433)
We all feel like burdens at one time or another. And we might BE a burden. But that doesn't mean we have to remain a burden. Please seek help because life is precious and I know you want to live or you wouldn't have asked for help. God Bless You! (HUG)
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