Ya Gotta Be A Little Nuts To Work Nightshift SERIES - Story #3
Ok, this one several of you have heard me tell but I'm going to post it anyway. I love it.
We had a very depraved and heinous nurse that came to us from the ARMY!!! Yes, she was tough, and a very good nurse but she loved to play practical jokes. Again, the newbies......(poor things).
Usually we only had to tell the newbies to lay on the stretcher (empty of course) so we could test it for something or other. They would (silly little untrodden RNs) hop right up there and lay down. They are quickly pinned down and two nurses with 3" silk nurses tape (which gives Duct Tape a run for it's money) tape newbie to the stretcher like a mummy. Then of course we push him or her through the entire unit showing off our newest hireling......
THAT isn't what is so funny about this story though. The newbies gang up on poor Ms. Army Nurse! And there's nothing that none of us can do to stop them. (*cough* absolutely nothing *cough* *cough*) She is sitting at her bedside in a rolling chair (the kind that you would find at a desk in an office. Out of NOWHERE, 6 newbies (which quickly came to be called "the adventurers") grabbed "R" and speedy quick started taping her to the chair. When she was totally taped to the chair with her arms taped to her sides and her feet taped together, a thick strip across her mouth, they rolled her out to the elevators. Yep, and remember, I said we are on the 10th floor! At this time it was about 4:00 a.m. so not many people around (other than other nutty nightshift workers.) I have to admit, as I walked behind this fiery and spirited group with a smile on my face, her eyes were shreiking "HELP ME DAMN IT." I couldn't do anything but laugh and walk along to see what was going to happen (like I didn't know). This story gets better......
Onto the elevator she goes and EVERY button, let me say it again..... EVERY BUTTON, the COMPLETE PANEL OF NUMERIC ORBS were pushed until they were glowing like a kid's first campfire....... (there were some unusual grunting noises coming from "R" but just then the doors close and we all are bent over in hysterics.) We hear a "CODE" called and rush back to the ICU to help somehow forgetting about our desperate and unlucky coworker. All turns out well with the code and about that time the swinging doors swing in and we see two guys we know from the ER (which is on the 1st floor incidentally) pushing our still torso taped teammate up to the nurses desk. She is now screaming obscenities (and for those who know me, that's where I learned it!) We quickly split in several different directions and were happy later to see that she was actually appreciative of the cleverness of my joke. (Although to this day, she does NOT know where the grasshoppers (another name for new nurses on orientation) got the idea and I'M not telling!