People, do NOT shoot yourself in the gut, you will have a long, miserable hospitalization, many painful and pricey surgeries followed by the liklihood of having a lifetime of pooping in a bag. This is called a colostomy. Doesn't sound fun, does it?

One of my favorites is the guy who shot himself in the leg to see how bad it would hurt first. OMG! He actually told us that. Don’t think we didn’t get a chuckle or two over that in the break room!!!

Then there was the guy who had lain on the train tracks and had survived but had a leg amputated by the train. Several years later we see him in the unit again. He jumped off of an overpass into traffic on a busy interstate, was run OVER by a car and still survived. My words of wisdom to this fellow. “God don’t wantcha yet. Give it up man!”

Another was a guy who used an AK-47 and basically just blew his face off. It was horrific but he survived. He actually does talks in schools about not using drugs. Although he's pretty scary looking, he makes quite an impact.

And although you see people holding the gun up to their temple in movies, this is one of the saddest things you can do to your family members. What is going to happen is you are going to cause irreversible brain damage at the same time making yourself look like a cartoon character with bulging eyes. This was the saddest yet funniest looking trauma I ever saw.

We had a very young man drink antifreeze and in the end it did end his life but not after many days of painful suffering for himself and his family. They finally withdrew life support when all of his organs finally shut down.

Another favorite of mine was the dude who ate snake poison and convinced the assessing case manager that it was accidental ingestion!!!!! WHAT????? PEOPLE! Have you ever SMELLED snake poison???!!! OMG! You can barely BREATHE when you get close to it!

And then there is the ever popular Tylenol Overdose which many people think is a “safe way” to scream for help when in actuality it’s one of the most horrible and painful deaths you can imagine. But if you are lucky enough to get to a hospital, you get to drink this nasty smelling stuff called mucomyst and be put on a drip that is basically an antedote. I won’t go into the details that cause death, but if you don’t believe me, google it! (Tylenol Overdose)

So, if you are here actually looking for the quick and easy methods to kill yourself, sorry. Not giving it up that easily. Just remember this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and tomorrow will always look brighter than today. And I can say that because I’ve been there!