My name is Cory. I am a mom, a wife, a NaNa, and a critical care nurse that lives in Nashville, TN. I have found my calling in ER/Trauma/ICU. Each day I find myself experiencing life changing events and hope that by reading my posts, you will experience and feel some of what I do. If you read nothing else, please
take time to read "The Hardest Question Ever Asked". It's my very first posting.
And if for some reason you think you see your story here.....you don't. It's not about you or anyone you know. =)
Have you ever wondered what a blog stalker is? Well let me tell you: A blog stalker aka: Blokker is someone who is so obsessed with someone and their life, he or she will sign on to that blog 2 & 3 times a day to see if there is anything new posted or if anyone they know has left a comment. (By the way stalkers, feel free to leave comments, you can leave them anonymously!)
Gradually, checking the blog daily begins to feel like a grind to the blokker. And when we don’t update as compulsively-obsessively-frequently as they are checking on us, they start to feel resentment. Update, dammit! (I can hear them now.)
Little do they know that they can be followed, and noted whenthey are on the blog, how long they are on the blog and which stories and comments they read. But even those that do know they are being monitored, just can’t help themselves. It’s like an addiction.I know you’re out there, I can hear you breathing……… =)
Here is a definition: Blog Stalkers: secretly reading someone’s blog with the express purpose of learning more about them without their knowledge; to stalk via blog Most stalkers are believed to be under a great amount of stress and mentally unstable. ‘Stalker’ is such a harsh word and one not to be used lightly but in December of last year I realized that I had not one but two. And then of course one of them told a friend, and that friend told a friend, and so on and so on. It’s quite interesting to see how often they are signing on to read about me and my life. It’s kind of flattering actually. =)
There is a point where it can become dangerous. One of my stalkers has looked up my address, knows how much I paid for my house, keeps going back to look at my pictures on my blog, etc. She’s very interested in my life for some reason. Not quite sure why yet, or if I even care.
When we write in a public forum we are doing so with the hope that people will read us. The unfortunate side of this is that we have little control over the perceptions of others towards us and that from time to time people will disagree with us and even become agitated towards us. (ie All nurses are perverted and unprofessional – my favorite comment yet!) This is both one of blogging’s biggest strengths (ie the conversation, diversity and dialogue) but also one of it’s biggest weaknesses when it goes too far.
The nice thing about web stats though, is in case something does ever happen to you, your family or your property, you have proof of who was stalking you. I personally keep a log of all of mine. It amazes me to look at the number of hits from one place in particular. Pure obsession.
I work hard at presenting myself online as fairly easy going, polite and well mannered. This is partly because it’s my character and personality. I was brought up to always consider the feelings of others. Here’s a tip: Consider the costs of your actions and words both on yourself and others before you post.
I have had a blog stalker (a man) for over two years now. He started a faux "cyber affair" with me to find out about my husband - which was a case of mistaken identity, but after emailing for 8 months, we kinda "fell" for each other. I found out from an anonymous tip that he was deceiving me, and when I confronted him, he stopped all communication and deleted his email account, etc. He was visiting my blog up to 15 to 20 times a day, down to 5 to 10, now one or two - but EVERY day. I have since divorced my husband and he has absolutely no reason to be reading my blog (he is a business executive, not much of a "blog" reader type - he is into the stock market - that is where I confronted him on a stock message board on Yahoo), so I'm guessing he has a "crush" on me or is obsessed in some way with me. It doesn't really bother me - in fact I care about this person even though our intital contact was deceptive - like I said we fell for each other. What on earth do I do? He reads every day, but comments rarely and under a woman's name so he doesn't think I know what he is up to. ??? Any advice would be helpful, I can't get him out of my head.